I'm finding solace in music (especially the Indigo Girls) and books (Love in the Time of Cholera and Prozac Nation in particular), and in my lover and a few close friends. But I'm also feeling antsy and eager to get out of the town where I went to school so I can start building my new life on the west coast. Yesterday I walked through the square and tried to avoid its dozens of bank employees offering me free water, cookies, hand sanitizer, keychains, and lord knows what else. Inevitably, one caught my eye and asked, "are you a student?". I don't think she was expecting my triumphant "no!" and I hope she didn't take it as an insult.
The main lesson I think I can draw from my struggles, especially as of late, is that depression is a multi-faceted thing. I'm coming to the realization that my efforts to attain good mental health are going to last a while longer, if not my whole life, and that's both overwhelming and helpful to know. As my depression takes different forms I will have to react in different ways, and basic steps like getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating well are going to lay a solid foundation for physical as well as mental health. But as my resources and self-awareness grow, I know I'll find different ways to make myself happy, energetic, and stable: for instance, right now I'm finding that going out dancing is a great way to be social, blow off stress, and generally relax, but sometimes what I really need is to curl up in bed with a cheesy movie and a glass of wine. In any case, the search for stability and wellness continues, and I welcome all suggestions for how to cope with (and prevent) anxiety, listlessness, and general unease.
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